New Territory

Hello Everyone:

It has been a hot and humid day. The kind of day that just makes you want to not go anywhere unless you have to. I wish this weather would finally go away for good. The upside is I had the big room in the PLB Business Center all to myself for most of the afternoon. A very rare thing but it was fantastic. At one point I thought that if the Brit BF was here with me, we wouldn't get any work done. We would probably have one heck of a make out session. He concurred with that thought. You know it's kind of odd that I would think that because I usually don't have those kinds of thoughts running around my head. It goes along with this one fantasy I had last summer of he and I making love in the Business Center. Never mind the place is a fishbowl but we would do it on the floor. The tables are too hard on the back. I think all this is coming from not getting any on regular basis and really missing him.  Weird for me. I never used to be so sexually attracted to any man, even men I was seeing intimately. No, I'm not into women or play both sides of the plate. Please, I've never considered it. Yet, here I am, thinking about the Brit BF in that way. It has nothing to do with wanting to make love to a black man (he's black). It has more to do with some sort of powerful physical and emotional attraction that can't be explained. Sometimes, at night, I pretend we're in bed together naked, curled up in each other's arms. Other times, I imagine what it would be like to wake up in the morning, him next to me and lingering for a few more minutes.  Now I'm thinking that if this relationship does take and it lasts, will I still the same way in ten or more years?  Hard to predict the future. I just know that this whole relationship is new territory for me and I wish someone would give me road map.