Lazy Sunday

Hello Everyone:

A very lazy Sunday. The Brit BF is on the road between London and Manchester; while yours truly is procrastinating on a couple of minor things.  Yesterday was the niece's birthday and her mom threw her a birthday lunch. It was a typical affair, just us, ample food and drink.  There was cake-a supermarket sugary confection. After the meal, I went home and read.  Right now, I'm watching a charming movie, 'Wish I Was Here.'  Later, it's back to the Underwoods on 'House of Cards.'  Something to do on a lazy Sunday. I keep checking my notification screen to see if the BF checked in. It's almost midnight where he is. Poor guy has had a difficult week dealing with his mum's death. It's rough loosing a parent.  He's handling it well, at least in public. I wonder if he falls apart in private?  I guess it's that whole "stiff upper lip" thing. I would be a mess. We all grieve differently, I suppose. Mom told me that sis booked tickets for Passover in Israel. I told her that the real reason I'm hesitating about this trip is that I don't feel like I have a real relationship with any of the relatives. I told her that while I could find things on my own to do but have nothing to say to anyone.  What would I say or do. Besides a Seder, which I have no interest in attending, what would I do with these people.  Well, yes, I could try to establish some sort of relationship but I don't know. Specifically, I don't know how to have a meaningful relationship with people I barely know?  Okay, I start with the pleasantries, then what?  It's not like we have anything in common with each other, beyond biology.  I could try to find some commonalities. Maybe I just don't want to try, too much effort and very little reward.  The reward is a lasting meaningful relationship.  It sometimes feels too forced. I have to think about it.