Confusion

Hello Everyone:

Lately Mum's been more difficult than usual.  The difficulty is due to her medical condition and age.  Regardless, it's really frustrating for me and everyone else to talk to her.  Often we have to repeat things, she sits with her head in her lap, or appears glassy eyed.  I would like her to see someone, like a therapist who specializes in elderly people, but I can't force her.  Instead, I just do whatever I need to do for myself.  Even more maddening is the way mum refuses to interact with the caregivers.  She complains that they don't do anything and I have to explain to her that unless you show and tell them what to do, they just sit their.  I get mad when I see them sitting around doing nothing and I have to do their work or supervise them.  They get insulted because mum tries to offload their work onto me.  I've made clear that it's not my job to supervise them or do any element of their work.  I'm here only to answer questions or get involved when I have to.  I know mum understands this intellectually but something gets lost in the translation.  I told her that if she doesn't stop making excuses and start taking a more active role, I have no compunction about taking my sister up on her offer, squaring away my financial house, booking a flight to New York to stay with my aunt for a while.  The plan there is to settle somewhere on the East Coast.  I know it sounds slightly impulsive but I'm just about at the end of my rope with her.