Don’t Trust

Hello Everyone:

A relatively mama drama-free weekend. Thank goodness. The new carer was here Thursday and Friday and she seems a little unsure of herself. I think when she comes back later in the new week, I’ll take a minute to sit down to get to know her. It’s too soon to say she’s not working out but we’ll see what she can do. The chatty carer was off for the weekend and carer number 2 was here. Number 2 has been with mum for something like over a month, enough time to asses her. Mum isn’t too thrilled with her because she says that Number 2 doesn’t understand her instructions. Number 2 isn’t quite as bad as the sub. That was bad. Honestly, mum doesn’t like any of the ladies and I don’t blame her. It’s not a great situation to be in; needing help with even the most basic tasks but that’s where mum is. She’s not going to get any better and I can’t devote myself to her all the time. Quite honestly, it’s gotten to the point where I just want to leave.  I can’t trust my sister or BIL’s intentions because they’ll just do what works for them, who cares about anyone else. Who knows when I’ll hear from the planning department and if it’s the answer I’m hoping for (a yes). In the meantime, I have to look out for myself. Since heading straight for the U.K. is out of the question at the moment, the next best thing is my aunt’s place in New York City. It’s not totally ideal but I can’t real afford to spend an eternity in an AirBnB or hotel and she has a cat—I’m allergic to them. The plan is to put some distance between myself, my mum and sister in order to take some time for myself. I need to rest and recuperate before I can plot the future. I can’t say how long I’d be away or if I’d come back. What I can say is that I just need time to myself. Mum says she wants to help me out but I have no reason to trust her. Sis says she doesn’t want to throw me into the street, I don’t trust her either.