Over It

Hello Everyone:

I think I'm over the whole mum mourning/grieving thing and now just going through the motions. I'm sitting at my sister's house, listening to everyone chatter on about mum, every other subject, and all I want to do is leave. I'd rather be sitting at front of the laptop blogging about something far more important than listen to some woman blather on about COVID restrictions. I've done my grieving while she was alive and only thing left was the funeral.  Fortunately, a couple that I haven't seen in forever came by.  It doesn't lessen the impact, it's just I'm so over it. Thank goodness I'm wearing a mask so no one can see my smirk.  I need to reclaim my life. I think my lack of interest stems from the fact that I feel like I've done everything I needed to do. I honored my parent. I don't think I have to do anymore. Another thing that's been on my mind is the lack of positive memories of mum. I mean I have nice random memories like birthday parties and sewing clothes. Nothing major, just stray memories. Maybe that's enough. I should compare my memories to anyone else's but I feel like I just got the bad stuff.  I think I'll hold on to the nice random memories rather than search for the big memories. Anyway, the Brit BF suggested I pretend the Marx Brothers crash the proceedings and run amok.