Mum Passed

Hello Everyone:


Oh my goodness, the past five days have been a crap pile of emotion.  Mum peacefully and painlessly passed away on Thursday evening.  Both my sister and I were lucky to be with her in her final moments.  I'm grateful to everyone at Kaiser who took care of her.  Even though it was expected, it still felt like a hammer.  The funeral was the next day and was well attended in person and on Zoom.  Since the service was at the cemetery, everyone was able to socially distance themselves.  It was a simple and dignified services as it befit her.  I went to my sister's house afterwards.  Honestly, I was so exhausted from the whole experience.  I couldn't sleep Thursday night and my head was spinning the next day.  Even worse, I barely had anything to eat on Friday, except for breakfast.  That made me feel even worse.  Fortunately, my teenage nephew fed me some cold pizza after we got back to the house.  I had dinner Friday evening and Saturday lunch at her house.  At one point on Friday, I questioned whether it was a good idea to join her and her family for meals because I was so exhausted.  I thought if I got a good night's rest on Friday, I'd be fine the next day.  That worked to a point but I finally had to say, "o.k., I need to step back and take a day for myself."  I was really happy about doing that because I got to take care of myself and do one or two things around the house.  As far as what comes next?  I have some concrete ideas of what I want to do next but right now, I can't really think straight.  Also, I don't have enough information to make any decision.  One idea that does appealed me is setting myself up in another city, preferably the East Coast.  Why the East Coast of the United States?  I have family in New York City and I could stay with them until I get myself situated.  I'm telling myself that I shouldn't leave just yet because I haven't gotten to the good part, whatever that is.  I wonder, is something good headed my way?  I also wonder how long will I get to keep it before it gets taken away from me?   Anyway, right now I have to do the family thing and act like the grieving daughter.  I finished my grieving along time ago.  Now I'm ready to re-join the land of the living.