Self and Sex

Hi All:

It's Friday and time for the weekend.  I want to talk about sex.  O.k. now that I have your undivided attention, let's talk.  Specifically, sex and body image.  In that past I've carried on about how I feel awful about my body image.  I feel fat, clumsy, and worthless.  However, recently that's changed and I've started to looked at myself in a different light.  I've made it a point to look at myself naked.  When I say naked, I mean without makeup or any enhancements.  Me in the buff, warts and all.  What I'm seeing, really pay attention to, is the fact that I'm not so bad looking after all.  I actually have a nice figure, my legs are long and lean, my breasts are high and firm, and my back is strong.  I can say all of this with a straight face because I've been working at it and the seeing the results.  I feel graceful and carefree.  I'm starting feel more attractive.

Sex was never something my parents and I or my sister talked about.  I think nobody wanted to have that conversation.  The best information I got on the subject was in my health education classes in school.  Anyone who says sex education ought to be banned in schools because it encourages promiscuity is an idiot.  So whatever I know on the subject, I thankfully know from school and reading on my own.  To me the act of making love, not just random intercourse, is something sacred between two people regardless of gender preference (for the record, I prefer boys).  This sacredness is born out of two people in a committed relationship who genuinely love each other and want to express a deeper level of that love physically and emotionally.  I think the media makes the act of making love into something that's degrading and dehumanizing.  Almost animal-like.

The first step in this process is to love one self warts and all.  I'm slowly learning to have a more positive body image so when I find that special man, I can give myself freely without reservations.  Having that positive body is a necessary part of making love because it allows you to see yourself as others see you.  If you project a positive image, others will see you in the same manner.  Thus when you do give yourself, you can do so without emotional issues surrounding yourself.  You can be truly emotionally present.  As I learn to love the way I look and feel comfortable with myself, I find that I'm letting go of the things that have been holding me back from giving myself to a man I'm in love with.  It's all part of the growing process.