High Anxiety

Hello Everyone: I couldn't sleep Friday night because I was having an anxiety attack. My anxiety is rooted in the feeling that my life is spiraling out of control and the impending arrival of the Brit BF. It was scary enough a moment that I Googled a crisis hotline number. I didn't call or text the number because, I don't know, something must've stopped me and I went back to bed. I think thr sourve if my anxiety attacks is the overwhelm of having to everythimg myself. It sometimes gets entirely too much and I feel like I have to turn over the reigns to someone else or just ask for help from someone other than Sis and BIL. Maybe HP looking out for me or the fact that I have two good things to look forward to, finally going back to a museum this coming week and the Brit BF's arrival. I'm definitely starting to believe that the universe is looking for me because when I came home from Sis's house, I got official notice that I was awarded help for groceries and now I'm waiting to hear about tent assistance. Another sign that HP is looking out for is a the exact job opportunity I'm looking for landed in my inbox. Actually it's an opportunity within an opportunity at another school. I'll send them a resume and hope for the best. That's all I can do anyway. I'm still waiting to hear back from a couple other places. In the meantime, let me tell you about this new opportunity. It's working as an assiciate teacher and would provide with a chance, I hope, to finally get in front of a class, not remain in the margins. This is what I was hoping to do at the other school but got blown off. I'll send them a resume and hope for the best. I just have to keep believing that everything is for the best.