Normal Life

Hello Everyone: My fear of the work rug being pulled out from under was put to rest today. The recruiter texted me to find out if I can start this coming Monday or do I need to wait until the Monday after that. I immediately replied that I'm ready to go this coming Monday. She just has to check with the project manager to see which of the two dates is good. Regardless, I'm ready. This is good because it'll mean that I'll have at least one paycheck in the bank by the end of the month and, even better, I can tell the employment office thanks for your help but I'll take it from here. More importantly, I can turn my attention to looking for more permanent work in something that interests me or maybe decide that working freelance is the way to go. Truth, I'd rather have a set place to work with a regular paycheck and benefits. You know, all the trappings of middle class life. Nothing wrong with that. That's something I always wanted for myself. Just to be a reasonably normal middle class person with a reasonably normal middle class life. For all the worrying I do about how am I going to pay the bills, I actually am grateful that's my biggest worry. It sounds strange but in the scheme of things it's good and I'll tell you why. Since forever, I've always wondered what it's like to be like regular people who have things that seem like everyday concerns (eg. the bills,the house,work). I always felt like I missed that because someone else took care of it, not by design but because they took it up themselves. Now it's on me. At first it seemed daunting but I can make it work. I just have to be disciplined about things. Mostly, I have to do the work necessary to make it work. I can't rely anyone to take care of things for me. This is what life is like. As much as I love the Brit BF, and I do, I can't be certain that he'll get sign a production deal and we can live a more comfortable life. It's that I don't believe in him, because I do. It's just the entertainment industry is up and down. One minute you're everybody's darling, the next minute you're everybody's nobody. Meanwhile, I firmly believe that the universe hasn't given me anything I can't handle. It's funny, in a about a span of a year I've gone from having no faith to having faith in myself. A good thing.