Quality Time

Hello Everyone:

Well, Yom Kippur is just about upon us and I’m not really up for it again. As I said yesterday, for me it’s a 25-hour period to be gotten through with no drama. The whole point of this fast day is self reflection. I’m good with that, I do it anyway but what I don’t get is why is a whole group necessary? Why does someone have to spend an entire evening and day praying with a group of people?  Does it make it better?  I think someone gave me an answer years ago but it still didn’t make any sense.  I think my big issue is I don’t feel comfortable doing any sort of spiritual or religious devotion in public. It feels like I’m putting on a show for the benefit of others. It’s like, “Look at me. Do I get credit for it?”  I haven’t been able to figure out a solution to the problem. Maybe there is one out there somewhere. I just haven’t found it. Maybe it’s not me at all?  Maybe it’s the externals, eg. the people and the physical space. Also, I’m a particularly religious or spiritual person. I have no idea why some people think that. I don’t present myself that way. I think it’s religious by association. My mum and sis are religious, ergo I must be religious too. We all know what happens when we assume? Anyway, my plan for the fast is to observe it as best as I can. Maybe not fully fast or spend the day absorbed in prayer but just spend quality time with myself.