Testing My Serenity

Hello Everyone:

My new found serenity is being sorely tested by the pathetic WiFi connection. I can't continue with my meditation exercises on Headspace and I spent far too much time ordering a dress for my niece's wedding. It's a pretty dress and I finally managed to order it. Another thing that's been testing my serenity is this freakin' holiday. I cannot wait until 8:07 pm Tuesday April 18, 2017. That's when this holiday is over.  This is too much. Speaking of too much, boys are too much for me. My former beau messaged me yesterday and started flirting with me. Eventually he called me and we talked for for a short time. He wants to see me again and I wounldn't mind his company. The problem is I still love the Brit BF very much. I'm over the hurt and anger of the break up but I'm still in love with him. You see why I'm so conflicted about boys. I like the former beau but I love the Brit BF. I don't know what to do. I know champagne problems.  In one way, it's nice to have boy problems, it's a nice diversion from everything else. I know mom would like it if the former beau and I get back together for good. He doesn't want a permanent relationship. He just wants to keep casual. The Brit BF wanted something more permanent. I want something more permanent but it seemed liked we were never working together. I hope I can see him again and talk. If anything, I would still like to have daily contact with him.