Late Night Thoughts

Hello Everyone:

Time for some late night blogging. My day has been pretty quiet, just stewing in some latent resentment toward everyone. This is what happens when I have way too much time on my hands and little to do. My resentment is in anticipation of a family lunch tomorrow afternoon. The occasion is the latest Jewish holiday and I just so hate going over there and pretending to be this "nice Jewish."  I'm anything but that. What's more is that each family get together highlights the fact that my beloved isn't and can't be with me. Everyone just sits around the table with their loved one (s) and just end up talking to mom or no one. Of course I can't bring my guy because he's not Jewish and black. I have no problem with it because I can look past it but for everyone else, those two things are big roadblocks. The funny thing is that if he were either white and/or Jewish, his presence wouldn't be an issue. Let me clarify, it wouldn't be big issue. I just hate this situation. I try to think how it would be if the reverse was true. I wonder if he'd be as frustrated as I am. I wonder if he even misses me, his side, for family gatherings?  I feel awful about doubting his feelings for me but I sometimes do think about it. It's only human to question if your significant other feels the same way you do. I just look forward to the day when we can go to both our family gatherings with pride.