Finally a block of time to write in the morning. I was just sharing with the Brit BF some of my thoughts on the situation in Baltimore, Maryland. It's a city I'm familiar with from the few times I've visited sis. Despite the wall-to-wall media coverage, it is a very lovely city that easily earned it's nickname "Charm City." Now that charm is being trashed by a bunch of knuckleheads. What sparked this trian of thought was a viral video of one of the masked rioters getting whupped by his mom. Goo mom. I told the Brit BF that once again I couldn't fathom the thought of anything happening to him. I feel like such a fool for having this thought because he's Afro-English and everytime there's an incident in the news, involving the police and a black young man, I get anxious. I shouldn't project my anxiety onto him like that but that's the way I feel. He always reassures me with his positive words but I still get anxious, especially since he's so far away. Even if he was close by or even living with me, I'd still be worried because you never know about other people. Maybe I'm more sensitive to the situation because of some whites liberal thing I never knew I had. I hate that one because it make me behave in a way, around other people, I don't particularly care-whiny and preachy. I hardly consider myself either one. Still, I really care for him. I don't know, I still feel like I'm flailing about in this relationship. I wish could finally learn to relax in this relationship.
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