Autumn seems to have finally arrived in Los Angeles. Evidence of this occasion can be found on frosty windshields, the need to wear jackets and socks, and the slight closing of windows. Also, the leaves have changed colors. Anyway, mom and were chatting over dinner last night and, somehow, the subject of boyfriends and their mothers came up. Actually, I shared that the Brit BF's mom recently had a mild stroke. She's eighty and also has Alzheimer's. The conversation then moved in the direction of the part time BF and how he seems to be anchored to his mom. Finally we landed on an old suitor from years ago and his mommy issues. First of all, what is with guys and their mothers? It's great to find a guy who gets on with his mother but it's something else when they're still tied to their mothers. In the Brit BF's case, his mom is not well and his sister is basically the only family member looking after her-the sister and a caregiver. The other two, I have no idea why the have a giant umbilical cord still attached to them. In both cases, mom is a widow and they're the only sib close by. Fine but these guys seem to have their lives dictated by mom. What was really strange is that mom brought the old bf-someone I don't even think about. Let me explain.
About a year or so after I split up with the abusive ex, I agreed to be set with a "nice Jewish guy." His selling points were: a Ph.D in engineering, religious, and a nice guy. A month in he started talking about getting married, I'm like "whoa, wait a minute who said anything about getting married." Anyway, we went out for a while and he started making lifestyle change demands that I knew I couldn't agree to. That and I never felt he was sincere. Despite my vocal reservations, everyone, including mom, kept giving me the hard sell. Ultimately we broke up. Mom never let this go, even though I did along time ago. It's the second time in almost two months that she's brought him. I have no desire to reconnect with him. I told her yesterday that I never felt confident about him thus I would have never agreed to marry him, nor could've I even imagined having his slow witted, dull, ugly children. Okay that sounded harsh.
My point to all this, the old and part time bf are the types that are so dedicated to their respective moms that it would've put a tremendous strain on the marriage. The Brit BF has a legitimate reason for looking after his mom right now but he's also his own person. It's nice that a guy gets in with his mom but shouldn't be a total "mama's boy," especially when he's involved with a woman who wants to marry.
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