It was hard letting the new guy go on Friday but I had to. There was just no other way to go about it, it had to be clean. He was starting to really get to me, in good way. I knew if I held onto him for any longer, letting og would be harder. He fills this void in my heart, the one that wants to be loved unconditionally, be made whole, feel beautiful. He has faith in me and encourages me. The yin to my yang. By now his flight has landed, probably been processed by customs and on his way to the family home in Manchester. We messaged each other yesterday. I know mom is happy to see him go. Oh well, she's pretty set in her ways and is allowed her opinions. I don't know if I'm going to be able to find someone that special anymore. Yes, I have my part time bf and he has all those wonderful qualities but I have more of a connection to the new guy. I was being inexplicably drawn to this person for reasons that still utterly baffle me. I guess the heart wants what it wants.
A funny thing happened Friday night. I finished dinner and promptly passed out on my bed. sort of a pre-sleep nap. I don't know how long I dozed off for when there was a knock on my door, it was the part time bf. He was in the area and stopped by for a visit. What a surprise. Both guys in one day. It's like I've become a dude magnet. How and when did that happen? I mean, I never thought of myself as particularly attractive and I don't obsess about my looks. Yet, somehow, how I'm attracting men. This is in/de spite of the fact that age-appropriate men seem to chase after younger women. So completely alien to me-this new found super power of mine. I guess I should enjoy it and use it to my advantage. Take that age-appropriate men!
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