The Great Munificence

Hello Everyone:

A quiet Monday, quiet start of the week.  Yesterday evening my mom and I were having a an actual conversation about a current event.  The subject was an article in the local paper about racist du jour, Donald Sterling.  Specifically, the article talked about his foundation.  It mentioned that it was unusual for a charitable foundation to advertise their good works.  By that I mean taking out full page adverts in the local newspapers, listing the non-profit organizations it helps.  To me, it always seems like the very height of arrogance for a wealthy person(s) to publicly parade the beneficiaries of wealth so that said beneficiaries can genuflect before the munificent one.  As it turns out, according to the article, it all may have been just smoke and mirrors.  Not surprised.  I long suspected that Donald Sterling acts beneficence was just window dressing.  Mom mentioned that their is an Orthodox family in the neighborhood that also generously offers financial assistance to those in need.  What irritates me about that is the it seems like another wealthy person just giving money to simply ease his guilty conscious and expecting some act of genuflection in return.  I don't like the idea of making people coming begging you for help or having to sit in a room, waiting for the great baron to see you with others less fortunate.  It's not that I don't have a real need for financial assistance, I do, it's the idea of prostrating myself before the great munificent one just annoys me to end.  I would tell the great munificent one is, "while monetary assistance is nice, what I really want is work so I can go back to being more self sufficient and something for my Mom so she doesn't have to worry about the bills, rent, utilities, or food anymore."  Yes, despite my animus toward her, I do want to make sure she's comfortable in her golden years.  I feel like such fool going to the great munificent one because there are others who are more needy than I and who are more deserving of assistance.  Thank goodness I'm healthy and capable enough to be able to go out and earn my own living.  Still, why do I feel so bad about asking a stranger, one who is willing to help out of the alleged goodness of heart, for help?  I guess it's from being burned one too many times and feeling that I'm not worth the effort.  I don't know, I need to think about this a little.