Changing Opinions

Hello Everyone: The rain finally arrived late last night and continued off and on through today. Fortunately it stopped for a long enough time this morning so I could go running in the park. After I finished sharing my weekend with you, I fell asleep. I was so tired that I couldn't bring myself to even brush my teeth. This is what happens when I stay up entirely too late. Now the hush is settling in for the night. It's actually been pretty quiet all day, thanks to the rain. No one in Southern California drives during the first rain storm because the streets are too slick from oily residue. There are even less cars out on the road because semi-lock down. After I finished blogging yesterday evening, I thought about another reason why I'm taking a break from the weekly lunch. It's been occasionally uncomfortable for me to be there. I was being made to feel like I was so helpless that I couldn't get out of bed in the morning without help. I'll be the first to admit that I haven't exactly helped my cause by getting so hooked on someone else taking care of me. I haven't been that successful in finding any meaningful employment and some days I've been too distracted with other things to try. Also, I have a sneaking suspicion that mum may have said something to Sis and BIL that cast me in an unfavorable light. I mean she was fine with letting me run the house, do the errands, and supervise the carers but when it came time to the real decisions, I was cut out of the process. That's something I'll never let go of. Anyway, I like to think that in the past year I've taken steps to prove that I'm not this spoiled,selfish, bubble headed person who only cares about going to the mall. Please, I've got better things to do with my time. Sometimes I think, they're not that interested in changing their perception of me. Fine, only I can do that and if that still doesn't make them show me a little more respect, then who cares. Actually, who cares anyway. I don't live for their approval. The only thing I can do is take the steps I need to take to look after myself.