Be Me

Hello Everyone:

Yom Kippur 2016 is in the books. Overall, it was a nice 25-hour period of self-reflection. There are things I can try to improve on-like not going zero-pissed in .025 seconds and using curse words. I'm a constant work in progress. The last few hours were the absolute hardest for me. Between the headache and the hunger pangs, I couldn't really focus on my shortcomings at all. If anything, I was ready to break the fast early but I didn't. I held out until the end. Yay me. The first thing I did was re-hydrate and eat something easy to digest. That activated my gag reflex and I found myself squatting over the toilet. Poor mom prepared this nice light meal that I could barely eat. I already forewarned her that I wouldn't ravenous after the fast but as usual, she ignored it until I finally beat her into submission-metaphorically speaking of course. So what did I learn from his period of self-reflection? A lot. I can work on being more patient, especially with mum and less neurotic about the Brit BF.  Mum is elderly and can't keep with life. The Brit BF loves me for who I am not some illusion. Also, I need to work on some control issues. I don't always have to be the one in charge of things around the house yet at the same time, I need to remind mum that she's not the only one who lives in the apartment. I could also work on being civil with people.  I don't have to be anyone's bestie, just be playing polite. The main thing is remaining true to my authentic self. Present myself to the world as is, not someone else's version of me to make them happy. That never works. So yes, I'm not this sticky smiling person I am. I don't smile, not always always in s good mood, not afraid to speak my my mind, or ashamed of being smart. If that's not good enough for people, then too bad. The only thing I can do is not be obxious about it.  I hate people like that. I can only be me and that's a good thing.