I'm feeling tired today. I got a good night's sleep, yet, I just want to crawl back into bed. To make thing just a little more uncomfortable, I have the remains of a sleep deprivation-induced headache. The headache is leftover from going to bed too late on Saturday night and waking up on time Sunday morning. I keep telling myself I have to stop doing that but it's hard to fall to go sleep early because I'm not that tired. It's the only night of the week I do that and I pay for it the next morning. I really need to work on changing that behavior. So far it's been a pretty nice few days. No major conflicts or disasters, so I'd have to good weekend and good start to the week. I found myself despairng yesterday when mom suggested that I take my tuition refund money and use it toward a down payment on a new car. Nice idea but then how would I make the payments? Excellent question. I told mom that it doesn't matter anyway because I'm never going to have a place of my own, a new car, or anything else nice. The Brit BF has all these dreams of the two of us living happily ever after in the lap of luxury but I'm not holding my breath. It's not that I don't have confidence in him achieving his goals, it's that I've that in matter how carefully you plan and execute, the universe just upends everything or things don't pan out. Besides, I don't attach myself to anyone else's ambitions. Mom keeps telling not give, things can change in an instant and other bollocks like that. Life doesn't work like that. Things don't turn on a dime. My life is just one pile of crap and I'm just trying to scrape by.
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