Once again very mellow Sunday. Make that a warm and mellow Sunday. I noticed something odd, odd for me that is. Yesterday afternoon I was getting dressed when I noticed that I really lost some weight and appeared to be more toned. Normally, this would be cause for celebration for most people but for me, this was something new and strange. You see I never looked this way before-slim and toned. I, in my mind, always seemed to appear flabby and overweight. This is unsettling. I'm not sure if I should be happy or concerned. It's not like I've been doing anything out of the ordinary. I suppose being vegetarian entails some weight loss since animal flesh is off the menu. Exercise-wise, nothing new. I'm not running any harder or longer than usual. I don't know, should I enjoy it, show it off, or hide it? I also don't eat that much junk food anymore or drink soda (diet or regular). It feels like dammed if I do, dammed if I don't. I lose weight for myself and great. The compliments are pouring in. Then comes the thin shaming. "You're too skinny, eat something, you need more meat on your bones," et cetera, ad infinitum. Everyone, just leave me alone. I can only eat as much as I can handle. If I want THAT slice of cheesecake, I'll eat it. Please don't force feed me. I don't feel sick or under nourished. I may be underweight but I'm at a point where I can enjoy those junk food pig out moments and not feel guilty afterward. I may feel sick but not guilty. So what do I do about my appearance. I could use it as an excuse to go shopping, like I need one. Once I secure some form of employment, get my finances stable, I'll consider cruising the retail websites.
No comments:
Post a Comment