Hello Everyone:
I've been feeling low this weekend. Not physically but emotionally low. It'll be another birthday without my guy. Mom took another pass at trying to plan something for my birthday. What she doesn't get is that the only thing I want to do for my birthday is spend the day with my guy. Instead, I'll probably end up forcing myself to sit through some contrived meal, pretending to enjoy the food and company. It hurts not to have him here, with me. I really wish we could be together. Hopefully, this pitch he has coming up will lead to something wonderful like him coming back. I really don't want to be part of some perfunctory event. I told mom that all I wanted to do for my birthday is just pass the day without any incident. I don't want any celebration. Besides, mom and everyone else killed whatever enrhusiasm I had for my birthday by f$@king me over on my graduation. I'm still mad about that and have never forgiven them. Whatever joy I may find in life gets killed by mom. She just has make me feel bad about anything good in my life. Whatever celebrations I have, get stomped on by her. So, whatever reminders I get about my birthday only make me more sad because I know that I'll have to spend with people I don't want to be around.
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