Hello Everyone:
I just got back from dinner with sis. Kind of strange going out to dinner with just her, not the entire pack. We had a perfectly nice meal, chatted about everything, and went home. It was a one week late birthday dinner. I wasn't feeling so self-conscious about being the center of attention. I'm sure her motives for taking me out to dinner for my birthday. I honestly thought she was going tell not to come around anymore. Crazy. I never trust any family member. It comes from being hurt so many times by the people closet to me. I can't trust family members, no matter how pure their intentions. I always wonder why anyone would me around. I sometimes wonder how long will it take for the Brit BF to realize I'm not worth it. I sound sad but I can never shake the feeling that I'm meant to be alone forever. I don't know where I get this feeling but it lurks in the background, like a ghost. I can't trust anyone close to me nor can I believe that anyone close to me wants me around. I have no real social skills and would prefer the company of a good book over dinner than an actual human. I'm not much for chit chat. I'm not even a cheerful person. So why would anyone want me around. I guess some people I'm worth the trouble. I guess sometimes it's best not question these things and go with the flow.
No comments:
Post a Comment