Left Out and Waiting For Holiday To Be

Hello Everyone:

Today seems a little calmer than the previous days.  Part of it is the migraine headache I had yesterday is gone, I've had a good night's rest two days in a row, and that time of the month is quickly passing. My allergies are still bothering me, which makes me more irritable but they're passing as well.  Mom started pouncing on me again first thing in the morning about some non-Passover-friendly food.  I just simply told her to back off.  So she proceeded with her usual incessant chatter, which I routinely ignore. Speaking of mom, she seems to be past the panic stage and is getting things done.  Good, maybe she'll finally leave me alone as per my request.  Not likely to happen but a girl can hope.  Until then, I just plan on staying out the house and out of the way.  I'm sure if I offered to do some of the cooking or try to be more helpful, it make my life, at this moment, a little more enjoyable.  However, mom is one of the those people that believes she's the only one that can do the job the way it's supposed to be done. Anyone else will just get it wrong.  I can be like that too although not quite as obsessive compulsive as mom.  I understand that things need to be a certain way but what difference does it make if one person does it this way or the other and the results are the same?  I feel like I've just be cut out of the whole holiday preparation process because mom insists doing everything herself because she believes that she's the only who know how perform the tasks correctly.  So I just learned to stay out of the way and offer any suggestions or help.  What's the point?  They'll just get shot down or I'll get yelled at so I don't bother.  Mom was carrying on yesterday how twice a year, every year, I get very tense around the big Jewish holidays.  Very simply put, it's more out feeling left out, unacknowledged, put upon.  I just don't want to play mom's "I'm a martyr to the cause" game.  This a person who like to beat her drum and rub all her hard work into everyone's face.  A simple acknowledgement of her efforts will not do.  Please let this holiday be over already.