Feeling Resentful

Hello Everyone:

I'm still feeling really annoyed by the whole Passover thing.  This happens every year and I just wish the whole thing would simply blow over as quickly as possible.  Yesterday, I cleared out all my non-Passover food from the pantry.  As it turned out, I didn't need both cubby holes.  Now I have to make sure that I get all my nice Passover-approved vegetarian food.  Fortunately I found some good options so I don't have to eat just side dishes and salads for eight straight days.  While that's all well and good, I'm still feeling resentful toward mom for all the intrusions.  She's always saying that she wants me to be pleasant and nice.  I should learn to make things nice, meaning nice for her.  A little hard to that when I feel trapped in a suffocating relationship.  I don't know how ways I can keep saying I hate living with her.  I think she gets it and in her own way is trying make it easier for me but it's not working.  Everything just feels so forced and uncomfortable.  This is why I also hate being around the rest of the family.  It doesn't feel like a good fit anymore.  It hasn't for a long time.  This yet another reason I'm angry at the Man in White because it feels like no matter how much I beg and plead for this burden to be lifted and let me have a measure of independence, it just isn't happening.  I try to be patient but nothing.  I have no more patience for a higher power that's turn his/her back on me. Passover just heightens these feelings.  What would I do on Passover if I lived on my own?  Nothing. You know me, I hate all the fuss.  I'd probably stick my head in the door once or twice but beyond that nothing else.  I've even flirted with the idea of going away for Passover to Italy or someplace else. Knowing me, I'd blow off the community Seders and planned activities and go off on my own. Regardless, I can't wait for this holiday to be over so life can return to normal.