Today I returning to the nest, again. This time for a lecture on the topic "What Not To Build." Sounds intriguing. I mean, everybody's got an opinion of what should be built and some of it does goes up. What not build? That's a whole different story. I'll find out his evening. The best part is I get to hang out with other architecture people, cool.
I processed all the feelings that came up as a result of that article. I realize that my dad and ex's addictions were something they had/have to struggle with. It was there long before I came on the scene. I didn't cause, couldn't control, and I couldn't fix it. On that last point, trying to fix an addict is a losing proposition. Still that article did bring up memories of a very difficult period in m life that, thank goodness, I'm past sort of. I still have to deal with my mom and her dysfunctional behaviors. It's gotten to the point where she sees me as this monster to be tip toed around. We got into again yesterday evening over my newly acquired vegetarianism. I just laid it out for her. I told her that, once again, it's not about her and to stop making everything about her. My mom has to be one of the most self-centered person on this planet. I get she's an older person living in a rapidly changing world. I get things are difficult to comprehend. That still does not give her the right to say, "everything was fine until you got home, woke up, came back from your run...." Fine, if your life is so much better without me, then when I move out, it'll be the last time you see or hear from me." I know, now who's being self-centered. Part of me says she doesn't mean it but it's come too often to let it go at that. So for the time being, I just avoid any real conversation. I can't let the insensitive comments slide anymore.
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