Dead End

Hello Everyone: Today was my day off and I spent the day wondering why I'm still at the department store. Yes, I'm grateful for the job but I can't keep waking up every morning tired and feeling trapped. I did apply for a curator job with the city but it'll be a while before I hear back and no guarantees that I'll even get a second look. There's no guarantee that any of the jobs that I recently applied for but, somehow, I just keep going, fueled by the vague hope that there's a better way. The nightmare scenario is the department store becomes the career, I remain alone, stuck in this apartment for the rest of my life, the object of everyone's pity. The department store is serving my immediate need but it's not enough for me. I don't want to feel like depleted every time I come home to my empty apartment. I would love nothing more than to not have to feel so depleted when I come home from work. I'm so sick and tired of hearing "well that's just the way work is." Really? Since when do I have to constantly feel so exhausted by a job that continues to assault my intelligence? There has to be a better way than this. I briefly considered calling in sick tomorrow but I know it would get rejected because my area is short handed at the moment. Another brief thought was just hand in my resignation letter or simply walk away but neither would be the responsible thing to do. Right now, it feels like nothing will get better. I feel stuck in a dead end job and I don't know when the Brit BF will be back for good. All I know is that I feel awful.