Taking Initiative

Hello Everyone:

The hot and humid weather has eased up for now, making me less irritable.  I came to the realization this morning that when it comes to the Sometime BF, I have some work to do. Nothing drastic like a complete personality transplant but more like some changes in his thinking, if this relationship is going to work. He declared his love for me and full commitment to he relationship but he just needs some prodding to translate words into action. One milestone that we have yet to hit is meeting his family. He keeps talking me up to them, much to my chagrin, his mum and brothers all want to meet me but the issue is firming up a date. I finally had to take initiative last night, during an exchange of texts, and get him to make a plan. It looks like it'll happen within the next week or two, good. It felt empowering to do this, not wait for my partner to make the decisions. Real growth for me. In a previous relationship, I was too scared to take any initiative because he would always react angrily and accuse me of not discussing things with him or pushing him. It wasn't like I was being obnoxious or anything like that, then or now, but someone had to make the decisions.  Different people, different times. I think the other part of it is that more often than not, I give in to the idea that assertive women are controlling and pushy. Ridiculous and offensive to my feminist tendencies. I really don't care if I'm perceived as likeable or not. I have to be me. I think this is part of why the Sometime BF calls me authentic. Around him, I'm more myself, foibles and all. The rest of the work I need to do in this relationship is just cosmetic.  So we'll set a date and go from there.