Another hot day with a few more on the way. Oh joy. Well it is still summer so hot days are to be expected. When does get hot and, in this case humid, I get extra annoyed by people. I have to keep the temper in check otherwise the result would not be pretty. I especially have to work on keeping my zero-irritation-tolerance policy in check at home because both mum and I getting annoyed doesn't work. At least we both have places to go during the day so we're not at home, at the same time, getting on each other's very last nerve. Right now I'm sitting in my nice air conditioned work space. Anyway, thank goodness the Sometime BF is driving up for an overnight visit tomorrow. We both can go in the evening and enjoy each other's company. At least it'll force me to behave myself. Would you believe I think he's having some manic episode? Well yes, I kind of hate to admit that one. it's just given his past history, the idea of him being serious is still strange. I know I've said this repeatedly but I think my rock-bottom self-esteem has taken over and decided that I'm not worth a lasting reasonably functional relationship. Now that's crazy, almost as insane as my paranoia over mum alleged jealousy. I've never had a good history with personal relationships which is why I tend to avoid them. When I do get involved with someone, I treat it a something good but try not to get too attached to the person. Eventually when it ends, I don't get too upset because I know that's the usual outcome. This latest one has a slightly different feel to it. He wants it to last and is willing to the work. I still need more convincing of his sincerity. I even thought about Googling how long manic phases last. I often think why on earth would anyone want to get involved with me? I'm not a horrible person, it's just I have way too many issues for any human. Alright maybe no more than the average person. I even had this crazy thought that the Sometime BF's family already told to break it off. Paranoia big destroyer. It's just hard to get comfortable with a person, knowing that it could all end soon.
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