Wednesday evening I messaged my Brit BF about my concerns for his safety and was very touched. I don't ever want see anyone I deeply care about hurt and it bothered me that someone could mistake him for a criminal because he's black. I guess this is part of the deal that comes with inter-racial dating. I can't bury my head in the sand and say that that nothing will happen to him but current events have proven otherwise. Sometimes I feel like I'm just flailing about in this relationship because I've never dated anyone from a different background. I feel uncomfortable but not in a bad way. he is everything I could possibly ask for, so why do I feel like a clumsy fool? Is it that liberal guilt? I'm definitely out of my comfort zone in this relationship. I don't know how he can take it all in stride, Invuess that's part of his character. I'm a neurotic mess part of the time. I some times feel like I have to walk this fine line between white liberal guilt and more open minded person. All I know for certain is how I feel when I'm with him and I never want it to end. He's already got our whole future planned and I try to get through the day without disaster or losing my temper. Ugh, this relationship is hard but anything good is worth the effort. Perhaps it'll be easier if and when he comes back. Big if there. I don't want to break up with but I also don't want go through currents events-induced anxiety. Well, it's like what he always says, "two people cannot always put the world to rights, we can only live our lives." Good advice.
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