No Barriers To Love

Hello Everyone:

I'm planning on seeing the part time BF this evening.  He called last night to say hello and remembered that he still needs to take me out for my birthday.  It's a month late but it's better than not all and that's the best I'm going to get out of him.  In the meantime, the Brit BF is referring to he and I as an "us."  I like that, we're an us.  It's nice being a couple albeit long distance.  The part time BF doesn't think in those terms.  We're a him and me-two separate people with no real connection.  I thought we had something when started sleeping together but now it just feels like random sex.  I have more of a connection with the Brit BF.  It's an emotional connection that I hope will deepen.  I'm still not a hundred percent sure about him because there so many unanswered questions in my book.  I hope they'll be answered fully and satisfactorily in due time.    Even though I know the part time BF, there's a distance between us.  Physical as well as emotional.  That's on him.  He puts up all these barriers, real and imagined, between us.  Right now he's using his jobless as wall.  I understand that a man having a job is a source of chest beating pride.  It makes me feel good too-having a job that is.  But should that be an obstacle to having a meaningful relationship?  I never understood it and still don't.  What I do understand is that the Brit BF is making a real effort and the part time BF is not.  That means a lot in my book.  Anyway, this evening I plan to go out have a great time and enjoy a delicious slice of a promised cheesecake.