Hello Everyone:
I'm back to feeling like cow poop today. I was fine the last couple of days now back to caca. To make matters worse my left ear, the one with the new piercings, it figures, is clogged up making it hard for me to hear out of both ears. It's not red or infected, it's something inside the ear that I thought cleared up already. So my day is clumping along. About the only high point was this morning over coffee watching a Youtube clip of one of my favorite songs. Nevertheless, I'm powering through the day. I think I'll just rest up this evening and try to turn in early.
In the meantime, love and life are moving along. The bf bought me a present, a nightlight for my bathroom. O.K. it's not jewelry or flowers, what I would prefer, but hey it's something I could use. We'll work our way to the jewelry and flowers. His mom was hospitalized over the weekend for anxiety related to his father's passing. It sounds like the bf and his family are really having a difficult time this. I guess it's hard when you lose a loved one that's been in your life for sixty-three years. I had my dad for a long time too and I remember how hard it was. That and coupled with a very painful ending to a long-term relationship. I wish there was some magic spell or potion that one could take in moments like this and make all the pain go away. I guess time is the only cure. Time and a dose of faith. What else is there I guess. I remember when my dad died I dealt with it by burying myself in school work and burying the feelings. Unfortunately, the feelings would manifest themselves in sometimes destructive ways. I have to give the bf credit for choosing to go to therapy over this. I never felt comfortable talking about my feelings, especially in front of others. Maybe that's why I never took to Al-Anon the way some people do. I'm more comfortable writing about them. Writing is and always will be my main method of expression. Maybe one day, I'll summon the courage to speak out loud my feelings.
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