Alone

Hello Everyone: Today at the grocery store the cashier asked me if I was having a productive day. I answered that I was having a sort of productive day. I did buy some food so I guess that counts as productive. I'd rather have a job so I can feel purposeful. Speaking of which, I plan to do one of the trainings I got from the staffing company I worked with last year. I have no expectations of anything but at least I can do them. As I told the recruiter for that firm, I have no expectations of a placement but I am available. She said she'd let the customer service agents know to look for something that's a good fit. Right. Anyway, I have other job finding things to do than chase after recruiters who blow me off. Truthfully, I'm sick and tired of looking for work. I just want to land something I can do and enjoy. You know what's even more exhausting? Listening to people mutter "I'm sure you'll find something soon." My definition of soon is right now. What makes the whole process harder is that I have to do this by myself, no one is in my corner, championing my cause. I feel completely abandoned. The only person that's been on my side is the Brit BF. I wish someone would just say, "I know this person who's looking for someone, give them a call" or intervene on my behalf. There are a lot of things I can do on my own but this is hard because despite having certain qualifications, no one wants to hire me. If they do want to hire me, it's for low level work. I think I deserve better than that.