Caregiving

Hello Everyone: It was a rather gloomy day but, fortunately, it didn't rain although it looks like it's about to start. Gloomy weather or not, I still managed to get a little food shopping done. Last Friday I found myself feeling gloomy again. A lot of the gloom is centered on the fact that I haven't received the aid I applied for. It usually happens in the evening when I finally am alone with my thoughts. I really have to spend less time in my head because it's a very dark place. I need to banish the gloom with action. How do I do that I checked my application for housing assistance and good news. I'm getting the whole amount I asked for. I just have to get it. A quick email should take care of that. As for the grocery assistance, it'll get here when it gets here. It's just so maddening to be told that I'll get something quickly and it take forever. What am I doing in the meantime to better my situation? Besides maintain a positive outlook (very hard), keep looking for work I can do. One line of work that appeals to me is companion caregiver. It's a nice line of work that's much in demand. I can certainly do things like light housekeeping and accompany someone to the doctor. I think if I do it part time, I can have the time to decompress. I couldn't decompress with mum because I was here all the time, unable to avoid the situation. After she died, I was physically and mentally depleted that all I wanted to was sleep all day. It didn't help that the BIL started pushing all sorts of business things on me and the whole issue with mum's bank. It took me along time to get over the stress. Looking back, I think that part of my unsuccessful efforts to secure stable employment may have been the universe's way of saying I wasn't ready yet. Perhaps if I get into caregiving myself, I can confront the issues that left me so depleted.