Being Clear

Hello Everyone:

A short post tonight because I am falling asleep. I had a good day today. It started off with a message from the Brit BF about a platonic date. Of course I said yes, any excuse to spend time with him.  He's a great guy to be around. The "good morning" text from the Sometime BF came shortly after that. So my mood for the day was kind of set. I was just re-reading a message from the Brit BF about his vision for the future. He still dreams of being a media mogul, which I'm sure he will achieve. What was also interesting to read was his plan to get married in Hawai'i. I have no idea who she will be but I'm pretty sure it won't be me. I think the Sometime BF has other plans. Wouldn't that be wild if the Brit BF and I did get back together for good?  I don't know if I could decide between the two because I love them both. I've made myself clear with the Sometime BF, I want a permanent relationship with him. This means marriage. The reason I say marriage is if we lived together, it would be too easy to break up the first time things went bad. Marriage forces a couple to work on the relationship daily because, quite honestly, divorce is a messy expensive thing. The Brit BF made it clear from the beginning that marriage was goal. Naturally that shocked mum and floored me mainly because I had pretty much given up on it. The Sometime BF is more cagey about the subject. We've casually talked about it and may revisit it when the time comes.  Regardless, I said what I needed to say and that's all I can do.