What Else

Hello Everyone:

A typical Thursday for me. Chores and errands like usual. One thing though, I shared with the Brit BF that last night, as I was falling asleep, I imagined the two of us curled up in bed. What I left out was the part about us being naked. Something so wonderful about the feel of bare skin against bare skin.  I love the feel of his strong arms wrapped around me, holding me close, making me feel warm and loved. It's strange, there are days when I don't miss him so much and days when I do. I really wish he'd come back, at least for a visit. I hope he comes back soon. More likely I'll go visit him. Chances are I may not want to come back.  No, not really, but life in Los Angeles has gotten so pointless. I need something to get me excited. I still believe I won't go through to the next round of interviews. I know you're all sick and tired reading how pessimistic I am but I don't have reason to be optimistic. If I do get optimistic about this job, the feeling fades after a few seconds.  It's like I keep checking my inbox, wishing the city planning department would hurry up and send the rejection letter. Totally insane.  I guess I'm looking for a scene change and being with the Brit BF, on his home turf, gives me that. I'm not expecting a miracle or anything grandiose but I just want something else, something more.  I can't even say what I want, it's more intuitive. I'll know it when I know it.