Relationship Angst

Hello Everyone:

A typical Thursday for yours truly. Chores and laundry in the morning, other things in the afternoon. The other things included a nice phone chat with the Brit BF. He's going to London tomorrow for business. I wish I was there. At least, it's really winter there , not like here, where winter lasted a couple of weeks. Otherwise, the day has been pretty status quo. I had one of those moments this morning. You know the one where just as you get comfortable, the alarm goes off. I hate that. Who likes that anyway?  I was in the middle of one dreams where I was in bed with Brit BF. I have those dreams frequently. I guess it's because I miss so much.  I didn't think I would miss so much but I do. I never thought anyone would get under my skin but there you have it. At times I feel like I'm flailing about because I've never been in a bi-racial, interfaith relationship. What makes it difficult is that he's so far away. I want to tell him how confused I feel sometimes. I don't know what I want or what I'm supposed to do. He's talking about a future and I can't see beyond the end of the day.  He's so much my polar opposite but so much that we can't find common ground. It's crazy. One thing I do know is that if I don't see through this relationship, I'll regret it.