O.K. today I'm in a pissy mood.  Either it's that time of the month or just the fact that I'm going through my annual pre- and during Passover tantrum.  Today's annoyance started this morning with psycho-mom ranting about the grocery shopping and the some miscellaneous bread crumb.  For those of you who don't anything about this holiday, any grain products are off limits as a way to commemorate the fact that the Israelites didn't have time to bake bread before leaving Egypt so in their haste they ate something that became matza.  You can look this up on wiki.  Anyway, word of caution, never speak to me first thing in the morning before the coffee has chance to kick in.  Then, about a couple of hours later, I went to get an orange for my morning snack and couldn't find the bowl where I keep them.  That's when I totally lost it.  Remember what I said yesterday about hating the disorienting feeling that the Passover preparation usually engender.  Well, here's your prime example.  Let's just say my gran mal tantrum involved a lot of swearing, name calling throwing of things, and yelling.  Eventually I found the bowl but I was really pissed about it.  Where was it?  On a dining room chair under some stuff instead of its place on the table.  Did mention I hate it when people move things around without saying anything about it?

What really infuriates me is the fact mom started with her usual litany of excuses: "it wasn't me," "you probably moved it," "No one moved the bowl," et cetera ad infinitum.  Of course does she help look for the bowl?  No.  She just stands there acting like the poor innocent victim.  You know I used to live with a guy who like that.  He'd do stuff then act like the victim, shoving blame onto someone or something else.  His story is that he's an addict who supposedly is in recovery.  Yes, I'm being judgmental.  Mom's story is anyone's guess.  She's just like that all the time, defensive.  I know I can change the way I deal with it, writing about certainly helps.  It's a discipline I work on, so far not very well.  It's just sooooo galling to living with someone who thinks they are beyond perfect that they are above accepting responsibility for doing things.  You know what I really need to find a descent job and move out.  I really can't deal with this nonsense anymore.