Hi All:
I hope you're having a good day. This morning I thought I was going to have to take "the cure" because my mom was once again annoying the s$#t out me. Fortunately it was a momentary thing. I quickly made my escape, briefly to return for food before heading back out. Now it looks as though I will not have to deal with her for a couple of days. Why you ask? Well because I adamantly refuse to go to a Passover Seder, mom is staying with sis for the next two days. Why I absolutely refuse to go to a Seder? Well my reason is this, they're too long and boring. I'm specifically referring to the one's sis and her family stage. That and I can't stand the company and really have no reason to be there. Before you start in with this whole "it's nice to get together with the family" thing or carry on about honoring traditions, let me explain. As I've said previously, I have no problem with honoring traditions and customs. The problem starts when they become a burdon. This is Passover for me in a nutshell. The cooking, cleaning, and sitting through all the ritual is too much of a chore. Also, since attending and participating in a Seder is a commandment, one that should be approached with joy, what's the point if I have to be dragged kicking and screaming? Further, I don't want to sit through the annual "who can come up with the most brillant insight into the holiday" contest where the reward is a stale dried out piece of candy. I know it sounds like I'm complaining and making entirely too big a deal out this but I feel like really no one is listening. Mom has even suggested I go somewhere else so I can enjoy the holiday more. Really, if I don't want to participate in one Seder what makes her think that I want to participate in another Seder. Thus I've opted to remain at home.
About the company. There's the BIL's parents who flew in yesterday from the State of Florida where they live in a retirement village near Tampa Bay. The come off as nice people until you get to know them. BIL's dad is pretty taciturn. Speaks little, can be a bit long winded when he does speak. The BIL's mom, on the other hand, is a piece of work. She's a retired second and third grade school teacher who seemingly never left the classroom behind. The MIL is imperious and arrogant. She just loves reminding people that she is the president of their local synagogue and what a great responsibility it is. Lady, being the President of The United States is a great responsibility organizing Bar/Bat Mitzvahs and other synagogue functions does not equate. They swoop in and pretty much take over, ordering everyone about expecting total compliance. Also, the woman fancies herself a gourmet chef. Really, she's alright, nothing special, just basic bourgeoise fare. One time, she prepared a standing roast that was repulsive to look at. I'm not a vegetarian or a vegan (I flirt with the idea) but looking at that giant slab of meat and everyone shoveling into their mouths made me want vomit. She has this specialty called "veal melange." What it is you ask? Basically, veal with a bunch of things thrown in the pot and given a French name. Open mouth, insert finger, push down on tongue. If they're company is enough to make go running screaming into the night then sis and BIL's friends and other parents from the kids schools finish the job. I swear if I hear one more conservation about their children's medical history, schools, behavioral issues, or how President Obama and the Democratic Party hate Israel and are hell bent on destroying the United States, I'm going scream.
Maybe it's better I stay at home before I totally lose my mind and start hitting the chocolate hard.
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