All On The Universe’s Schedule

Hello Everyone: My weekends seem to follow a predictable pattern: It's start out good then gets anxious. The anxiety stems from the fact that the prospect of another week of the same old crap, no job and loneliness. Now that I write this, I think that I have the prospect of a job. I did accept the contact tracer job and started the onboarding process I think that's the source of my anxiety because I need to take a basic life saving course and I got upset over the prospect of having to go to the office. The office isn't close by and I have to take a bus and I can't afford the BLS class. Somehow the universe made it possible for me to find bus fare (thank you Higher Power) and the recruiter I'm working with said the company might be able to give me the money but not to worry about it right now. I had another question about a flu shot certificate but that's not a big concern, like the COVID vaccine and fingerprints. The fingerprints are to make sure I'm not some pervy psycho with a history of felony crimes. In the meantime, I quickly applied to a more permenant job at a nearby school. If it's meant to, then so be it: It's the loneliness that really makes me anxious. I don't have the calming steady presence of the Brit BF to help talk through my anxiety. The two weeks he was here were the best two weeks I've had. I was in a genuinely good mood and not because he asked me to marry him. It the overall lightness he brought. I so want him to come back already but I know it has to be when the universe dictates his return. So maybe the prospect of a new won't be so dreadful. My plan is to finish the onboarding tomorrow and go to the office on Tuesday, when the recruiter will be in.