Hello Everyone:
The year seems to be slowly winding down and it's time for some serious reflection. Where I am going and what am I doing? Don't think there are any neat answers for either question. If you want to adhere to the "life is journey" philosophy then, I suppose, I'm a road with more twists and turns than I care for. What am I doing with myself? Excellent question. I have some clue but not everything has been revealed. I guess that's good, in a way, because if we knew what the outcome of our lives is then we wouldn't live it fully. Life is meant to lived fully, not in the shadows. I think this is one thing that frustrates me about the people that populate my life, they tend to be timid. Afraid to put themselves out there, take chances, worried too much about the outcome. One should be cautious but not all the time. There are moments when throwing caution to the wind is so worth it, like taking a chance on a relationship. Like everyone, I've had relationships blow up and scatter the debris everywhere. When they work, it's beautiful. Right now, the bf and I are going through a rough patch. I'm willing to stick with the relationship because it's something I genuinely believe in and I don't give up on people. When I decided to start making love to him it was a big risk on my part because I was afraid that once he saw me without clothes, he'd be horrified. I realized that a lot of it was in my head. I wasn't too confident about myself. The emotionally bruising experience of researching and writing my thesis did that to me. Lo and behold, it was worth it. I don't know what the coming year will hold, I just hope it'll be more positive and filled with joy.
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