Sound of Silence

Hello Everyone:

I'm at my local public library branch at the moment, being tormented by a painfully slow wi-fi connection.  It's definitely a Monday.  I think the library wi-fi could use the coffee more than I can. Anyway, things at home have settled into a state of being.  What this means is that mom and I just exchange civilities but nothing else.  I suppose that's good because it keeps me from being dragged into a "conversation" that always ends in an argument.  I just too mentally exhausted to play along.  Nor am I interested in constantly hearing about my mom and her life.  So why don't I talk about myself and my life?  It's because I either have to provide some sort of detailed explanation for everything or I end up on the defensive.  Too much effort.  I'd rather just keep the conversation limited to news, weather, and sports.  I'm not trying to avoid engaging in any meaningful dialog it's just that the concept doesn't exist at home.  My definition of a meaningful dialog involves two people sharing something of mutual interest, listening politely to each other, not attacking each other.  Somehow, this has gotten lost on my mom.  Maybe it's because she is getting older and wishes that the world remain at a constant pace.  I think, regardless of age, we all wish the world would operate at a steady pace but change is inevitable. People and places are always in flux, that's the nature of the world.  I suppose my mom's one-sided conversations are her way of filling the silent void.  Since I prefer to read at meal times, mom feels that she has to fill the quiet with chatter.  I do that too.  I'd much rather read than feel like I have to be on guard all the time.  It's funny, when I'm with the bf, we have lovely dialogs even on serious topics.  I can't do that with mom anymore.  Actually, that's almost never been possible.  I feel like she's just not listening to my side of the story and too quick to defend the other side, even when I'm right.  I just give up.  So the silence has settled in.  

One final note, Tower Records still needs your help.  Please go to http://www.change.org and sign the online petition.  Also email Council Member Stephanie Reich at sreich@weho.org to let her know why this building should not be demolished to make way for another high-end mixed used development.