The Hens

Hello Everyone:

Today I decided to join mumsy and her annoying friends for a “festive” holiday luncheon. I use the word festive in quotes because one of the hens carried on about it (not really), making me want to vomit. The meal was from a local vegan/vegetarian place with decent food and service.  Too bad the company wasn’t decent. Mum has these two friends who just get on my last nerve. Their fingernails-on-the-chalkboard annoying voice and condescending manner make me scream. It’s like they’re talking to their toddler grandchildren, not adults. My favorite moment came when one of the hens started going on about the British PM’s holiday message and for some odd reason, I developed a cough. The cough got worse when she brought the part where the PM called himself  a “melting pot of Abrahamic faiths.”  My mystery cough got even worse when she mentioned the current Oval Office occupant. Let me tell you one thing, two of the hens look like they coat their faces with industrial grade makeup that requires a paint scraper and thinner to remove. I mostly sat there listening to the drivel spilling out their cheap lipstick mouths trying to keep a civil tongue in my head. Mum made me promise to behave. After the meal, I went for a nice long walk. Much more enjoyable.