I think today is one of the first days, in the past few weeks, where I genuinely feel better. I mean I have more energy, evidenced by the fact I was able to do my whole workout this morning without gasping for air. I'm still feeling bloated from all the water I've drunk. Yesterday, I felt particularly bloated to the point of being uncomfortable in my clothes. I hate that feeling. In other news, not much is happening on the relationship front these days. With the Sometime BF taking care of mum and the Brit BF scheming his way back, I'm sort of at loose ends. Being half of a couple is a form of security for me. I can be happy by myself, I've learned to do that, but I prefer having someone in my life. It's kind of nice to come home to someone who loves you as much as you love them. I'm really not very good at social settings designed for singles. The whole thing feels too forced and they tend to attract the desparate types. Honestly, I have no idea why anyone goes to these events with any expectations of meeting the love of their life, let alone just meeting new friends. Anyway, back to the special men in my life. Although it's been several months since the Sometime BF wandered back into my life, I'm still not entirely sure of what he wants. I haven't changed my position about marriage. I still think the Brit BF has some romantic feelings for me. If he does find his way back to Los Angeles, I hope I get a chance to see him and who knows what will happen. At the very most, I just expect to spend some time with him, maybe over coffee or whatever else. The fantasy is he declares his love for me and how he was so wrong to break up with me then sweeps me back to England. Not likely to happen but it's nice to imagine it. The fantasy scenario for the Sometime BF: he does what Prince Harry did when he proposed to Meghan Markle, drop down on one knee while we're in the kitchen making dinner and proposes with ring in hand. It could happen. Whatever the case is someone has to speak up soon.
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