Productive Monday

Hello Everyone:

A very productive afternoon for me. Within the span of less than a half hour, I applied to two jobs, one career and one just for the paycheck.  The career job is with the local preservation agency and the other one is at a local store. I figure with all the job applications I’m sending, something is going to stick. After this flurry of activity, I had time to post the latest and greatest on the blog. Productive, wouldn’t you say. Now I get to chill. At least the Sometime BF didn’t message me today and I’m glad. I’m glad because I really can’t deal without his mania anymore. One minute he loves me and wants to make a life with me. The next minute is thinks I’ve run off to the U.K. to have nightly sex with the Brit BF. I also can’t believe that mum was trying to get me and the Sometime BF together permanently. This would have been a lasting or healthy relationship. I think that she might just have to concede that the Brit BF is a more stable and secure relationship. Not that I need her approval but fact is fact. Yes, we come from two completely diverse backgrounds but somehow, we work. He has what I want, stability and security. There’s no drama, just steadiness. Can’t ask for anything better. Unpredictability does have its good points but you can’t build a lasting relationship in it. I want a lasting relationship. I need that stability and security. The Sometime BF wasn’t providing that. I can maintain the friendship but at a distance. I can’t let him back in in an intimate way. I know he’s jealous of the Brit BF and that’s on his insecure self. I sound harsh but I just don’t want to deal with his insecurities mixed with manic phases. Too much drama.