Pins and needles

I've had a lot of anxiety in the twenty-four hours surrounding my thesis. The source of this tension is the fact that I'm submitting to the university graduate school so I can finally get my Master's degree and move on with my life. It's a lot of little things such as proof reading, making sure the illustrations are properly placed, and getting all the necessary paper work in order. If that's not enough then sending it out for submission and waiting for the confirmation. This last part has been the most stressful. Apparently, the graduate school doesn't send out automated responses so I don't really know for sure if they got it. I sent it yesterday afternoon so maybe they need a day or two to process it. I was already giddy about submitting it, which turned into panic then major anxiety. The major major anxiety manifested itself in the form of non-existent self esteem and anger at anyone and anything. This caused me to lash out at anyone who so much as says hello. I feel like a very brittle piece of paper that disintegrates at the slightest touch. I called a friend and my advisor who did their best to assure me that everything was going to be alright. Yet, I feel like the entire process has been a monumental waste of time because it doesn't change the fact that I still don't have a job or lead the life I want to lead. I feel hopelessly stuck in one place. I see others going and doing things and hate them for it. Not jealous or resentful, hateful. I don't want to be around anyone not even family. In fairness, I sent follow up emails to the committee to remind them that I still need one more piece of paper signed and checked on the grad school website. That last thing is getting obsessive. In the meantime, I feel like I'm completely falling apart. I wish the people around me would be more understanding. My mom seems to think that this all some kind of joke. After all, according to her, she sailed through her master's program while raising a daughter (me) and working. Obviously I'm the one with the problem, completely undeserving of any empathy. I genuinely don't what I going to do anymore. Unless I get some good news, I feel like I'm going to go totally off the rails.