The Slightest Thing

Hello Everyone:

Lately I've been go off over the slightest thing.  Today it was over mum's friends and her request that I stay home to help her.  I'm starting to think that it may be the overwhelm and the isolation I feel now that I've become the de facto caregiver.  Being ignored by everyone is just a constant source of irritation.  It's not that I go out of my for attention but once in a while I would appreciate someone asking me if I need anything or would like to get together for coffee.  It's not a lot to ask for but I would like it.  Instead mum's friends just come and go with their pretty words, hand-me-downs, and lukewarm food.  Sis is far too busy maintaining the pretense of "community standards" and her work to care.  Once in an odd while she'll deign to get off her throne and do something.  At least the BIL and oldest nephew are a little more help.  The worst part of it is that when I try to communicate to mum how I feel, it's like I'm speaking a foreign language.  She denies how feel, blames me for it, and sulks.  You see why go off over the slightest thing.  I was so angry today that I just threw my stuff into my bag and stomped out of the house.  Truth is I hate the state of things so much that I fantasize a life far away from everyone and everything.  I even imagine what life would be like after the Brit BF signs a big development (hope that comes true).  The way he paints it, it's a glittering life but all that glitters isn't gold and I need a life to myself.  Ideally, a life without the burdens I have now.