Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Time to let go?
There comes a point in time when it's time to let go of something or someone and move on. Letting go of someone is the most difficult because you never want to give up on the people in your life no matter how bad things are. Unless the person is truly a toxic person, letting go of a person is tremendously hard. Letting of something is entirely different matter. I spoke today with my thesis advisor and he's ready to sign off on my master's thesis and let me graduate. On the one had, that's great but on the other, he said there were still some issues regarding copy that need to be addressed. This bothers me because I've working on this thesis for over a year and really want it to be perfect. One of my readers was ready to sign off in April. Is this thesis as good as it gets? How much longer do I want to tinker with it? In one sense, letting go of something is easier than letting go of a person because you can divorce yourself mentally from a thing. This is something I've gotten quite skilled at since my days in architecture school. Separating myself from my work is crucial if you want to survive in a creative environment because it's easy to make your work your an integral part of your life. You put your heart and soul into the work, it consumes your every waking moment, you and it become one. Any criticism, no matter how well intentioned, becomes a personnel attack. Yet at some point you have to step back and disengage. That first step is the hardest part. How do you disengage from something that you feel passionate about? It's through this process that you can fully evaluate what you've done and decide what the next step should be, continue working on it or let it go. Right now I think the universe is telling me to let go of my thesis and devote my attention to something else. The advisor didn't exactly give my thesis a ringing endorsement and part of me still wants to work on it some more and get it super perfect. I think that's the part of me that really wants the adulation badly. This constant need for praise manifests itself into hyper-perfectionism. Maybe it's time I take a page from my current favorite inspirational/autobiographical book and learn to just relax and stop trying to control the work so much and stop seeking approval from others. Is it time to let go?
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