Composure

The French have a word for composure, sang froid. Literally, it means cold blood but not in a violent sense. It could be interpreted as not reacting when things start to get out of control and confusing. This often quite hard to do when you have people in your life who often go off on tangents that have nothing to do with main point of discussion. This gets very frustrating for me because it means I'm not being heard and the person I'm speaking to is trying to hijack the conversation. I try to speak clearly and directly to the point. I'll admit to being guilty of getting sidetracked myself but I do make the effort. Maintaining one's composure is also important in situations that are ripe for getting out of control. This usually occurs when we have people coming over for a meal. By people, I mean family members. My sister and her family live nearby but haven't been over for about year (I honestly did not realize this until mom pointed out). So, of course, this necessitates a certain amount of preparation which is accompanied by tension. The source of the tension comes from mom's overriding need to control the situation to the finite point. Perish the thought that anyone should suggest editing menu or offering to contribute to the meal. The biggest source of tension surrounding these meals is the amount of money spent and the seemingly endless nature of the meal. Let's face it, everything is expensive these days and when you're preparing a meal for crowd, you can really go over the budget. This is why I often suggest editing down the meal so there isn't that much to do and, perhaps, save some money. Do I ever get listened to? No. Second, the length of meal is an issue. While I don't like to rush through a meal, I also believe that meals should not be too short (less than 45 minutes) or two long (more than 1-1/2 hour). Beyond that, people either feel hurried or start to get restless. Then, my mother tries to get my sister and her family to stay for the remainder of the afternoon, if it's a weekend noon meal. I feel this is an invasion of my privacy because, in the afternoon I want to sit quietly my favorite place with a book and read. What I don't want is to have hide out in my room while some very rude children drape themselves all over furniture. Truthfully, it's hard to maintain composure when entertaining feels like a punishment. I'm seriously considering leaving so I can maintain some sense of calmness and sanity. I'll have to think about it. In the meantime, maintaining my sang froid is a goal for the year.